This essay will focus on the process of socialization and adaptation of adults in a religious community. The object of the study is a Christian church. We will take a close look at the difficulties the new members face and the ways they cope with such difficulties at early stages of their life in the community and upon becoming leaders.

In order to understand this project better and avoid misconceiving the conclusions, it is important to know how church differs from other communities. Firstly, any Christian church is not difficult to enter. People usually are very warm and open to newcomers. The distinction between the church and other communities is that members rarely see new people as competitors what can be seen in many essays. Therefore, newcomers find it easy to start relationships. Secondly, like any group of people with certain beliefs, members of the church truly believe that their faith is genuine and want to share it with others. In consequence, they often take the fist step to newcomers and make them feel at home.

When joining a community, a person is afraid of rejection because he/she differs from other members. Therefore, in order to match the rest and fit inside the community, one usually observes people, seeks communication with experienced members or leaders and looks for people from whom one can learn everything. Besides observation, adults try to establish personal connections, build relationships with people, spend time with them and support them. Communities usually have a lot of events. New members should participate actively in such events, help with preparation, and show their interest and loyalty. Basically, to become a part of a community, people try to live the same lives as others, share hobbies: read the same books, listen to the same music, etc. The key factor that makes joining a group of people easy is your desire. You share people’s beliefs, because you want to, you change something about yourself because you think it is important. You are not forced to do anything; it is your pure will. Since you cannot match the members of the community right away, you try to be careful about opening yourself. You tell people what they are ready to know about you, avoid contradictory subjects and focus on your similarities and not your differences. To become united with people in the community, you need to have the same values, share beliefs and lifestyles completely. As a result, it is more than friendship that ties a community together, it is an ideology.

After you become a full-fledged member of the church, you get concerned with its wellbeing. This makes you active in the life of the community and you start taking on responsibility. Upon becoming one of the leaders, you experience new challenges. You are positioned above your friends; you are no longer the same as them. The status of a leader is not the same as that of other members; it is higher. Such distinction may cause problems in relationships. Based on real-life experience, it mostly depends on people: those who were close before become closer and more supportive; those who were distant become more distant. For some people, it is difficult to accept your new role. People have high expectations for leaders and demand more from them. Hence, leaders are usually a subject to criticism. As a central figure in a church, you have responsibility for people with whom you used to be friends. Your attitude towards them changes from friendly to “parental”. Leadership is a different burden from the one you had before and you are alone in carrying it.

Once you have realized your problems, you start to contemplate how to solve them. You look for ways to become a better leader. Under the best of circumstances, you have mentors, who guide you; under the worst of circumstances, you learn by trial and error. Let us look at the aspects of being a successful leader in a church. According to the pastor of the church, firstly, one needs to accept one’s mission, new responsibility and new position, get used to the distance between one and other people. Not to forget about the “forced loneliness” is a part of the leader’s lifestyle. Secondly, for a key figure in a church it is important to believe in the supernatural background of the mission: remember that you were chosen by God, you are not alone in your service, and God will give you strength to succeed. The new role implies specific powers and credentials. The leaders learn to act according to their new position and use their power for other’s benefit. Sometimes you get to confront people, who are older than you, but you have to stay strong and brave. Thirdly, being a good leader implies constant studying and improving. As someone, who is in charge, you need to be competent in your “field of work” and prepared for opposition. A key to change and progress is understanding your weaknesses, working on them and being open to critique.

Adapting to the role of a leader is not easy, and it entails some changes in a lifestyle, for example, changes in appearance. When you are not a central figure you have no restrictions as for dress code, but when you become a leader you have to dress more formally, wear a neutral, neat haircut. This is a part of your service: you make sure nothing about your appearance bothers people enough to distract them from your preaching. Now that you are a leader, people set you as an example. You have to watch carefully how you live, treat people and take care of your mistakes and weaknesses. Being a role model for others works for your benefit as well, it serves to your improvement: doing something for others, you do it for yourself too. Adaptation and changes are not easy, and the most difficult thing is probably acting as a “parent”. You have to base your decisions on your belief and act according to what is best for people and not just pleasant or satisfying.

Sometimes becoming a leader can change you for worse, and you need to be aware of that. A key role brings power to an individual together with the opportunity to use that power for their own benefit. While teaching and controlling others one must be careful not to become self-centered and proud, because it can lead to unpredictable circumstances.

The aspects of entering a religious community stated above show that it is not an easy process. The new person already has to prove that he is worth something, let others know what he is like and earn their trust. Sometimes members of a community can make it even more difficult by setting high expectations for a person. It might be impossible to live up to those expectations. However, you must stay yourself, reveal to others what is in your heart and keep making efforts to get close to people. Forgiving people’s imperfections is crucial. Keep on accepting people and they will not be able to resist. Sooner or later, they will come around, and you will have good friends for a lifetime.